Precious Memories
by bookwormwithanattitude
Summary: Winry had wanted to pay Rose back for her emotional support, but not this way. Just a quick, introspective ficlet that explores Winry's stay with Rose and the feelings of loss the two girls share.


**A/N: Just a short ficlet I wrote on a whim.**

One of the best things about staying with Rose was the baking. Not only did Rose teach Winry to make all sorts of things, she let Winry tinker with her oven and had all sorts of cooking tools for Winry to fix and improve too- and she didn't even mind if things went a little awry on the test drive.

Winry wanted to pay Rose back for her hospitality, so she was always fixing anything within her power and helping out with the restaurant as much as possible. Keeping busy was really all she could do. It had never been in her nature not to be working, but sitting and relaxing also meant she would worry about Ed. They hadn't heard _any _word of his whereabouts at all. Al was also always busy with his dad. She was glad he was finally spending quality time with him and all, even if it was mostly plotting how to save humanity or whatever, but it made her sad and lonely to see them together. She missed her own dad, and she felt weirdly jealous of Al that his was still around and would also apparently never die or something.

The worst thing about that feeling was how disgusted she was with herself. Ed and Al had lost _so much, _she should be nothing but elated they at least still had a living parent. And he was really nice! A part of her wanted to be mean to him for leaving his sons on Ed's behalf since Ed wasn't here to do it (it would have made her feel better, like filling the empty hole where Ed should be) , but it was pretty impossible, especially since Al didn't resent him at all. And then there was the fact she could see Ed in Hohenheim sometimes- in temperament they were complete opposites (much like Ed and Al themselves) but it was in his smile when he talked to Al, the earnest nature, the way he fumbled words and mostly, the casual protectiveness that was always lurking. It made her remember to worry about Ed and miss him, and she couldn't stand it. It made her want to cry and she'd promised Ed she wouldn't. And Ed had promised he wouldn't die in return. If she kept up her end of the bargain, he'd keep his, was the ridiculous logic of her brain.

So Rose was the person she could rely on when she avoided others. She would always noticed when Winry got worried and scared, and she'd be there with a story, a cake, some kids for Winry to play with, a new shirt for Winry to try that promised to make her blend in seamlessly so no one would ever_ ever_ suspect she was an escaped hostage,…

Winry had told her about the promises she and Ed had made. Rose had laughed. "You two are ridiculous! It's like you're made for each other. Well, you can trust a guy like Ed to keep his word. As for not crying- I don't know if I could do that. I'm a huge crier- it's better to release it than keep it all bottled up, you know?"

"That's what I tell Ed, but I know it makes him feel bad when I do. He just wants us all to be happy…so I try to remember that. He would want me to be happy. He wouldn't want us to worry. I just repeat it in my head whenever I feel like it's too much."

Winry honestly didn't know what Rose meant about being a huge crier, because she'd been nothing but cheerful since Winry arrived. But one night, she barged into Rose's room without knocking because her arms were full of laundry.

"I know you said you wanted to do the laundry this week, but since you're putting me up I thought I'd-oh no, what's wrong?"

Rose had sprung up from her bed when Winry had entered, and she was hastily wiping away tears, but new ones leaked out her eyes as she did. Winry dropped the clothes on the dresser and sat down next to her, putting her arm around her. "No, it's okay, you don't have to hide…please, you can talk to me about it."

But Winry's stomach was all twisted up even as she said this. She had wanted to pay Rose back for her emotional support, but not this way.

"It's-it's nothing. I cry about her for no reason sometimes, seriously, anything can set me off. It's been way more than a year I shouldn't…but I still miss her." Rose refused to look Winry in the eye, tears dripping down her nose into her lap.

Winry didn't know what to do. She noticed there was a picture spread out on the bed. It was a really beautiful charcoal sketch of two women laughing together. One of them was clearly Rose, but she didn't recognize the other.

Rose noticed her looking. "My lover drew that, she was a really good artist, she always drew us…" She broke down in sobs.

Winry rubbed Rose's back. "Of course you still miss her. We miss the people we lose forever. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

Rose just cried harder, shuddering gasps as she cupped her hands around her eyes and hunched her shoulders. "I just think so much about how she would hate me for joining that stupid cult! For being so weak…"

"That is just complete nonsense! Look at what you've done, you've rebuilt, you're feeding the hungry! Because of that stupid false priest, it was like you lost her twice! That would break most people, but not you. We all make mistakes when we're grieving, but we make the choice to turn our grief into…into a lesson or something and move forward! You did that! You told me yourself!"

"I told you Ed and Al-"

"Ed and Al helped you like they help a lot of people, but you made the choice yourself to stand up and move forward. You know that. It's like, I can make a leg for Ed, but he has to make the decision to walk on it."

"I know…I know…it's just…" the next part came out from behind Rose's hands in a pale little squeak, "You remind me so much of her! It hurts sometimes!"

Winry's face heated up and she nearly jerked away from Rose in surprise, but thought better of it. She looked over at the girl in the picture. They sure didn't look much alike…

Rose shook her head, apparently feeling Winry's look. "No, it's…the way you laugh really loudly and a lot, the way you get explosive and mad and wear all your emotions on your sleeve, you really like to fix things and support people and you love your career…a-and your smile, it's too much like hers!"

Winry felt the horrible sinking in her stomach. Like how she saw Ed in his Dad…she'd been putting Rose through a similar thing and she hadn't even noticed.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, hugging Rose closer.

"It's not your fault," Rose shook her head again, bringing her hands down to reveal puffy red eyes. "I really like having you around. But you're strong like she was, and it makes me want her sometimes, but I feel like I failed her back then-"

"I might have done the same thing in your position," Winry told hesitantly. "Honestly, I don't know what I'll do if I lose Ed and Al. The thought just…completely terrifies me. I think all the time, if they die, I failed. Because I told them I would always support them. The automail thing is all I can do for them, but it breaks all the time and what if I'm a curse and-"

Rose jerked out of Winry's grip, and she looked angry for the first time since Winry had met her. "That's completely stupid!"

Winry gave a bitter little laugh. "I know that. So you have to know what you're saying is stupid."

The angry red slowly receded from Rose's face, and eventually she gave her own strained laugh. "Yeah, you're like her. She always knew the right thing to say too." She squeezed Winry's hand. "Thank you."

Winry nodded. There were a few seconds of silence, and then she asked in a wavering voice, "Do you want to…do you think it would help to talk about her?" She pointed on the sketch. "I mean, this is really pretty. Did she do it for a living?"

Rose reached across Winry to pick it up and smooth it on her lap. "Well, she tried. She drew everyone and everything. I met her when she offered to draw me. I thought it was going to be for free, but then she insisted I pay for it. She's like you in that way, too."

"Hey!"

"Heh heh…despite all that, I still had to give her free food all the time because she played the starving artist angle. You know, like you milk Al and Ed for money…"

"I thought this was going to be a _sweet _reminiscence…!"

* * *

When Winry had to leave for Resembool, Rose was all tears again.

"You're going to suffocate in that thing!" She sobbed with her arms around Winry.

"Ugh, don't remind me. Thanks for everything, I mean it!" Winry hugged her back furiously.

Rose took a folded piece of paper from her apron pocket and handed it to Winry. "I want you to have this."

Winry opened it to find a beautifully rendered sketch of an automail arm. Every anatomical detail was perfect. "Oh my…_she _drew this?"

"Yeah, she thought it would be good practice."

"I can't take this! I mean, your precious memories of her!" Winry squeaked.

"Trust me, the amount of sketches I have from her could fill a room. You're the first person I've really talked to about her since she died, and that helped. I insist you have it. Besides, you're practically drooling."

"I am not!" Winry wiped her mouth, just in case.

Rose laughed and hugged her again. "Take care! Say hi to Ed for me."

"Right," Winry's heart sunk a little in her chest. They still hadn't heard anything about whether he was okay or not.

"I bet he'll be at your house when you get back. Probably sneaking around your room-"

"Oh gross! He knows not to go in there." Winry shook her head, but she was laughing too. "Listen though, I feel bad accepting so much from you-"

"Please, it's-"

"Nope, I insist. After Ed and Al come back after the Promised Day, I'm going to invite you to come to my place for a stay. I'll play hostess this time, and you'll get all the apple pie you could want."

Rose's face lit up with a grin. "Okay!"

After they parted, Winry folded up the picture and tucked it in her bag. She didn't really want to part with it, but It would be ruined by her sweaty stay in pot thing. She was _not _looking forward to that.

As she walked with the Briggs bears, she looked pack at the little booth receding in the distance and saw Rose had already returned to work. She bit her lip hard.

"Stupid Ed and that stupid promise," she turned away. "I really want to cry for you, Rose. But I'll just save some tears of joy for when we survive to meet again, okay?"

She walked on, leaving Liore behind.


End file.
